I love Sara Bareilles. Her new CD Kaleidoscope Heart is so good that it pulled me away from Cute Is What We Aim For. It's hard to kick me off a band after awhile. I want to play the piano in addition to hitting a giant wooden one you hit with mallets. People who play the piano are just automatically more awesome. It's only been two and a half weeks and already AP Theory has me in it's clutches. I love music so much. If I could be an award winning author/ psychologist/ musician, I would be. Plus, musicians are sexy. :D
One random thing I've known for awhile but not said is something that I've figured out about my sexuality. I am bisexual because I find men and women attractive, but I can only really see myself long term with a guy despite my own issues with it. What the hell? It makes me feel like there's something misfiring in my brain. Not a bad thing in any respect. Just strange. I was talking to my best friend a few weeks ago and I feel like I want to look up to someone taller. Someone bigger and stronger to protect me. (Not necessarily literally) That would just be comforting to me. But I would still want to be the same to someone else. Like equal but free flowing roles. Not even roles. I don't assign roles to each person in a relationship. I'm very much pro equality and the ability to be who and whatever you want...except someone who kills, maims, or hurts people. Yeah. :P
It is quite seriously flooding in my town/state right now. An all day monsoon. This bridge near my house almost flooded. Which makes me think of the fact that I live in such a picturesque area. I love the open space. I'll drive around the old and broken roads listening to whatever is chillest at the moment with the windows open just...living.
This post is kind of short but now as I'm typing this I just thought of something else. I'm known as the "funny guy." I was explaining to someone how everytime I'm laughing or making a joke, there's something painful underneath it that laughs can dull and distract me from. I realized that my views of most conceptual things such as philosophy are quite depressing. Life is like a joke to me. Some guy says, "Hey, enjoy, here's your timer, when it dings you're done." And you don't even get that long. I also personally believe that everyone will always be alone to some extent. Someone may know you extremely well but no one can ever truly see from your point of view. I'm also not religious so I don't have the comfort of any sort of belief in the afterlife. There just isn't enough proof for me to dedicate myself to something as seriously as religion. I'm the Scully of the Scully/Mulder relationship. Damn I love X-Files. And The Mummy. I've probably watched it 10 times in the past three days. Sexy/cute Rachel Weisz and Egyptian culture (Which I love!) as well as a role in which Brendan Fraser isn't a total buffoon but actually someone you can take seriously. I want copies of The Book of the Dead and The Book of Amun- Ra. NERD.
Alright, now for lyrical quote! Crap. Can't copy/paste and it takes too long and it's late. Goodnight!
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