1st. AP Statistics
2nd. AP Physics
3rd. Health
4th. Band (Honors)
5th. AP Literature
6th. BCIS (BIM)
7th. Government
8th. AP Music Theory
My 3rd and 6th classes I blew off til now. I was heavy into extracurriculars my first two years. Oh, and I'm taking Spanish III through correspondence so that I can graduate distinguished. I realize and have been told incessantly that all it is is a title and sticker on your high school diploma and that it doesn't make a big difference but it's what I want so there. Took the ignorant approach there but whatever.
I live in a small town and there are only around 120 people in my class. My older brother graduated from the same school with a class of 69 I think? So yeah, those would be the most AP classes probably in the history of my town. I've been in the same advanced classes with the same group of four or five people for what will be the fourth year now. Some of them are great and others...well, I'd just prefer not to think about them.
On the random but plus side of things, I'm definitely going to start working out beginning tomorrow. I'm going to do three days of weights and four of cardio. Mostly it'll be two days but I'm going to try to do cardio on weekends too. I have body issues (emotional dislike of it) and so I've decided to do something about it...for the twentieth time. I'm hoping the routine will stick this time. I just want to be lean and defined. I have this insecurity about what everyone around me is thinking at all times, regardless of whether I know them or not. Even some stranger looking at me I can feel threatened by. Or put down. Usually the second option. I want everyone around me to think, "Hey, that guys kinda cute," or be swimming and "Damn. That's a nice body." I really don't mind being objectified. That's probably bad thing to say. Oh well, at least I'm honest.
So, two days ago, I cried for two hours straight. I haven't cried in years. My best friend's mom was emotional and didn't think about what she was saying to me or the fact that she was talking to a 17 year old, regardless of how mature I am and told me some terrible things that made me feel shittier than I have ever felt before. What's worse, she's someone I see once a day. Basically they were disappointed in me because I forgot something they said and acted disregardful of their wishes. I cannot handle disappointment from people who kind of matter. It kills me. She eventually apologized two hours afterward and I forgave her but it's going to be something hard to forget. It was pretty cruel, but I have moved past it. I move past things pretty fast. This causes conflict when my best friend/ex-girlfriend is still in love with me and I'm over it. Dramatic things are attracted to me. I try to run from them. Rarely works out.
Well, I have a bit more reading to do for the first day of school tomorrow so I'll go and do that! Hopefully things go well!
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