I need snow. I love snow. With snow comes awesome, and my mother's homemade snow ice cream. I could worry about polluting my body with all the crap in the atmosphere possibly precipitating down and into the snow that will become my delicious ice cream, but screw that. I found some apple cider and it made my day. I had to have two mugs of it with a cinnamon stick. SO freaking delicious. Holy crap this girl in the movie has shorts so short, they may just constitute as either skin tight granny panties, or a bikini bottom. Her butt cheeks were falling through them. Then this dude sligshotted her butt. I laughed.
I was at my impulsive friend Taylor's house this weekend and stubbed my toe on those concrete borders around flowerbeds and whatnot and looked down to see a huge chunk of skin hanging off and lots of blood. SO, that was fun. My toe looks gross and I have to wear flip flops everywhere. It's winter. Regardless of the fact that I'm inside most of the time, it's still a hassle. And I LIKE flip flops. Oh, and in addition to gross toe, I pet my dog because he looked sad and lonely in the garage, and got secondhand poison something from him so my hands and wrists itch like an expletive. Another friend of mine, Phillip, is having a birthday dinner this week so I'll have to painfully wear shoes, but the company more than makes up for it.
Recently I've been reading parts of my great grandmother's autobigraphy Bits And Pieces: Recollections of Life in Rural East Texas. In AP Music Theory, my eighth period this past Friday, I almost cried in front of everyone because this woman that I always knew to be so happy was talking about how when my great grandfather died, "Part of [her] died with him that night; [She] loved him so much." That just struck me really hard how much people hold things in. How much I hold in. How much anyone around me could be holding in that I have no idea about. It frightens me. So yeah. Anyways...
Holy crap in the late seventies and early eighties men wore short shorts. Not like mid thigh, like upper, upper junk-is-threatening-to-pop-out high. I don't understand it. Oh well, Jason'll knock 'em off some time in the next 53 minutes. I also watched Fame earlier. Not the best movie but it made me start thinking. What DO I want to do with my life? I think I want to teach. I definitely want to write, but I also want to sing and act and do all the things you're supposed to pursue in youth. There was one scene where a guy who wanted to do ballet asked his dance instructor for a recommendation letter and she said that she couldn't give it to him. He had promise but would never move anywhere past that. I'm afraid that's how it is with my singing and acting. I enjoy them, but I don't think I have anything more than promise that won't advance or grow.
I'm cold. I love and I hate being cold. I love it because I do. I hate it because it reminds me how warm someone else can make you. Just with a touch, a kiss, a brush of the skin. I, Jeffrey, was not meant to be alone. Plus, Christmas just makes me think, FAMILY. It's not just presents and good food and even spending time with your family, it's where you bring someone home for the holidays to meet and see your family. Where you cuddle up close by the fireplace under blankets and whisper. Where you decorate with all the stupid, beautiful, ancient ornaments that have accumulated in your parent's life and yours. HOLYCRAPTHESAMESHORTSHORTSGIRLNOWHASALONGSLEEVEDPINKTOPTHAT'S BEENCUTOFFTOONLYAMICROMETERBENEATHHERBREASTS...ANDSHEHASNOBRAANDHARDNIPPLES. That's just too much. *Shiver* I just don't understand it. What can compel someone to do such a thing? Sexy and classy and even attractive are very different things. I hope she's next in line to get the possibly literal axe.
My great uncle died two days ago. He was my grandfather's last sibling. Now his parents and siblings are all gone. I never want to endure that. The funeral is tomorrow. I'm going to have to miss the school day probably. I'm going to have to help carry the casket. I've never been that close to a dead person. Well, relatively speaking anyways. I hate funerals and I hate death. So there. Meh.
I got to see and pick out my senior pictures today! My favorite is a black and white with my Fedora smiling. I want to put it on Facebook so badly. It'll probably be Christmas or just before until I get them. Sigh. I hate waiting.
Well, I think that's all for the night. Morning. Norning. Might. Hah. I'm so not funny. Another day again today.
"Stay up all night and sleep all day, we were smart kids with too much to say and so so sure that they were missing out. They're the ones who were missing out. We were elemental, talked down to bare essentials. Who knew we'd get so far? 'Cause our days were numbered by nights on too many rooftops. They said we'd burn so bright. We burn this city and go." - Burn This City, Cartel
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