I'm in Austin, I told my future sister in law about the past few weeks because she was asking if I was still with my girlfriend. I said no, and truth is, I didn't just make out with that guy. It was more. It wasn't sex, but it was more. I physically can't say it. Type it. Whatever. Anyone who gets too close to me ends up leaving or distancing themselves. Maybe I offer up too much an it scares them. I've already made the decision to not bring up my past again. Or my issues. People can't handle them. People can't handle me. Music feels like the only comfort. It says what no one else can or will.
I hate getting to that comfortable feeling with everyone around me because they only disappoint me. They're my friend because someone else is or because they can get something from me. They never are just for me. They aren't interested. I guess I make it alone now. Or I don't make it at all.
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